everyone around you is greiving

Category: 2006: sans chalant poems

we are heartfelt gentle warriors

used to wear
purple silk
and corduroy lapels

we’d drink black
black coffee
and we’d cry
toss’d words
in the back seat
sinking ships
over cliffs

we fought
like angels


if bricks are mortar

then i’ve built castles
out of faith

out of love

my amendment is this:

take it with you

remember how the desert breathes


camels thirst


a good horse i once rode

glides maybe white with wings
(to old friends) like in young guns

and counts down in hours the way i wait


behind the good horse i’ll never ride
is pure glass

i study its passing witness
like the canvas i mend and stitch

just to keep everything from spilling out


i got stranded on the deck of your accomplice

the white owls slept

no mice tonight
i gathered

i packed whatever was in pockets deeper
and headed out into the thick of it

if there was a phone ringing
i’d answer it

i ventured further
from pillow to blanket

‘i trained my eyelids this far’
sang my pursed lips to the mirror

when i showered
i found the sunglasses i’d lost

and as light broke from the faucet
and into my hands
i shuddered for a moment

and a cold wind blew


i am nonchalance (braven)

cold waters still

where money changes everything
(as do assertions)
we channel our disbelief in ghosts

we succumb to early dwellings
holes in stick-straw houses
myriads of lost chances
(dwelling deeper)

the myth that is your
‘what you expected’
now expects a full turn

snakes that know not their demise

are as parables to words
as echo is to life



i am bundled

wound up
in and around
these iron arms

i take a bath
in ink

like the rain
i wait
perched at the keys

case the winds
move fingers

case the gods
grow voices


everything in me

wants to destroy
what i’ve collected

even the dust
collects dust


all life is concerned with

readily available
and future plans

some things
like water

get forgotten

amidst the midst
of everything


twice on the bridge

you noticed me

there was nothing
about the bridge

i did

you to see me


what sleepless wonderland

are you pushing through
when waking eyes are not full?

are you waiting a thought
longer than it’s preclude?

(i justify you s’long as you know)


and i am the quiet divisible anthem to your scratchboard-flimsy

and if coal harvests find you lucid and in daydream draught
i will fight night to find your solace

for i am chalking palms
against pastels
throughout night’s
endless dividend

a patch of blue reminds

the thought of your name slurs

my vision

and your




through a clear well-lit window

i saw us dancing

you in that green dress
me all posture and prudence

‘i came here to love’ sang my tap-dancing

‘your echo’ she sang ‘haunts my mid-step’


i was asking for candy i suppose
when she waltzed me
back inside my fortress

i left a trail of glitter and rainbow
in the dark of winter’s
looong and saddd opera

so’s just in case
i could find my way back


the maps to your heart

are but blank legends that glow like chirstmas paper
the direction of your folly

your due process caught in riddles
is taller than life
realer than buildings

only doesn’t scrape at the sky

it points towards
the silver in the moon that wants
orange halos
cherry moons

your mid-life boiling point
echoes silent sleet

its white elephants
lost in the corners of the room

and you are surrounded by ghosts


no one gives a shit

andre bocelli
ave maria
to an empty bar

i’m staring at the neon
and the rain

and the full moon orchestra

staring back


over beers at kingfish

roger and i discus
falling in love
and out

and we sip our beers
and we nod accordingly

and we’re constantly interrupted


she smokes slender

goes black
’round the edges

in her afterglow i find delight
in the candlelight
cuts the fabric out of night


the movie moves the images


my fingers are negatives



she speaks to me

through microphied phones
that pause like quilts sew haiku’s

she is syllabic in nature

hidden in daylight


her message
is in the bottle

it washes on the shores
that wash over the wires
that sound the hungried spiral strings
that ring

when i sing with her


your small consequences

build daydreams

like paralysis in patterns
like walking


you are an introverted ally
and you throw this little world aside

you send arms out like
talons towards tunnels like
paper boats in the wind


like thor you
scrimmage against
and curse breath


someday when i’m a hundred i’ll remember

how i used to feel so young amongst
the dinosaur crowd

i’ll remember i’m just an old boy
in a new sweater

that my calm demeanor is really stricken
with sweet sin and marmalade

that i’m trying
to light enough candles in my heart
so’s i can freeze up
these doubts

and meet a woman that reminds me

i’m trying not to notice
shadows from eyeglasses

red lips


not memory or sound

not listening
or hurting

does anything

me and my dead friends
sit in a circle

about the songs our guitars
can not write

on their own


i can feel this slow heat

wait like crocodiles behind the sea

the marigold in sepia tones goes quiet

i am clean as wind on floorboards

skeletal like keys

glitter and grime
at once defined

and the moon is huge


blank stares accompany monotone heartbeats

the kind that
in strife and good weather
transfix the meter
from that
cold blanket
of yester-morrow

due coarse prescribes
no such interludes save
the dissident and the quilters


we tumble on in
moth/flame fashion

happily marching


we glide in

on our little
forever-paper that grows with us

when wings only grow alone

like blind contours on old oak age
i say it is the woman inside me that
yearns the edges i was taught

were witness

taken for granted


and pure or
pure and simple

pull into the carousel with

equal parts commitment

and resolve



bend in on dark legs that siphon the gut from heartache
blend new pages on old phases with ease
over translate
post “yes” post-it’s in the new dark
find an emptied park for best rhymes
grow like a spy towards an ultimate sleuth (truth)
are but a strange gamelan this side of e.t.’s memory
lover of plastics


lust fades

paper turns yellow
leaves mulch
water dries


i’ve heard this before

as a young reader
i learned to write

as a lover i learned to let go

as a musician
i mapped labyrinths
with calloused fingers


i forget
what any of it
was all about

more money equals strawberries

you just
gotta to love



the nature of death

is concerned with what leaves


the nature of life consists

in loving
and not loving


according to rumi
there can only be



kind of like deleting a sentence

i’m drawing parallels
made me
write that
and what
made it hurt

syntax and knives
out for a walk
on the page
without me


that damn mouse somehow ate through the cage

through the bars and into the
grey cashmere tight knit sweater i bought at
some thrift store during christmas


the grass patches and early late afternoons of
smoking joints in backyards and in hammocks
and wooden bowls on warm soup at a friends house where
psychedelic herbology and meditation met me somewhere
halfway between bad poetry and dress shirts or
pipi longstockings hair do’s and sarongs


kaz and i in his rusted black camaro
and early morning sunday drives to nowhere
and back through fuck you neighborhoods
and listenin’ to u2 and tom petty on the way to
buy a rose and a cup of coffee before we’d stroll the beaches in
black hightop converse talking about his vampire script or
how we’d find some kind of liquor to sip overnight
calling everyone we knew just to give some kind of
anthem to our three chord dreamless-nessing’s
some kind of full moon song to sing where
no one would listen but kaz or me on a porch alone
together in those bored rituals and distractions of parents
or talking about getting away and really not getting anywhere
and then dinner with family and movies and heating taquitos
and staying up later and later and later
and telling jokes in bed for hours
and the fart jokes never got old
and our lives built chapters round words
or girlfriends or romances that went plop on the grass in late summers when
a lawn-chair and a pack of camels on a noonday sun said
almost everything about who we weren’t and where we weren’t
and knowing it all along


you tear me off your molars

with bread crumbs dripping off teeth
like lips that purse their curse

to spit back at spite
your ripe insults gnaw again
the love of my loaf for you

the nature of your indifference
obliterates any clear sky from upward down

the rain that falls off perches
comes crashing like ice blocks
from mountainous above

you leave me breathless
and mobile

five paces from alchemy

in the middle
of this waking desert


i read her short story

as i sit on her bed

we broke up
weeks ago

and she plays me

the sky is so beautiful

all patchy blues

and grays
without a sun