everyone around you is greiving

Month: September, 2019

this is my nine eleven poem

even though I wrote it years later, I still think of it as a heavy hitter, given its accuracy, to me, the moment, and subsequently, to amy. you see, kevin canty wrote a somewhat haunting short story about a guy who got his ass kicked wearing a red dress, to a red dress party. I was in love with the idea to have a red dress party, but, I’m pretty sure, I just bought a red dress on a whim, with amy, she had a red and white polka dotted dress, so we went shopping and I found one, I think. thing is, I don’t remember much but waking up with her in that slutty sun filled room, the two of us, glazing over an image of a plane and a tower, and instantly falling back into each other, into each other’s arms. I didn’t know it at the time, but, that would be the last i would see her, her mom came and whisked her away that morning, me on the front lawn, hair all a blitz, giving an awkward hug to her daughter, the two of us in red and white polka dotted dresses on the dying lawn, confused and frightened. two days later my best friend put a bullet through his skull. Imagine that. kaz was my nine eleven. it’s a hard pill to swallow. I get it. I miss kaz of course, but amy, I miss you, too.

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what i mean to say is, i love you

i’ve aways been in love with you and I don’t know what to do with it or myself I’m just as lost as you are. but these old songs these three mile pilot songs are like rockets to who I used to want to be but they’ve all exploded and I don’t know what to do with it –

a jury in oakland said

to the landlords and the city of oakland that it was really no one’s fault. the whole concept of blame, sort of, just, flies out the window, a broken window, with flames for hours for days for weeks for months and years, for ever in our collective grief, but, a jury in oakland said –

there is a raccoon

in the fig tree